Like most people in the western world I have a little, nasty addiction. It sits in the back of my head constantly pestering me to have more of it. There are times when I have been able to resist it, but more often than not I give in and get my fix. I am, of course, talking about sugar. Addiction is an odd thing to me. I don't smoke and have never got into that habit, I don't feel the need to have a drink when things get bad/stressful/celebratory, I don't feel like I can't function in the morning if I haven't managed to have a cup of tea or coffee, and I definitely don't have a drug habitat of any form. So it didn't occur to me that I might have an addiction to sugar until a few years ago. Really, if I had been paying attention, I should have guessed that I had, the one chocolate bar not being enough anymore, the wanting a fizzy drink in the morning and afternoon, the constantly wanting pastries with icing and cream in. It was only when I started eating healthily properly after doing some research on my PCOS that I noticed that little niggling feeling in my brain. I have tried giving this up before, but I always fall back into consuming sugar in the form of chocolate, biscuits, and fizzy juice. I suppose I should be too suprised, research on sugar addition and rats have shown that they are more addicted to it then they are to cocaine and sugar is added to products (even 'healthy' products) all the time. The problem is that sugar, especially in it's process form, is so bad for you. I remember being warned about it regularly, as I'm sure we all have, by my dentist when it came to the health of my teeth. Then there was the big health push in my teens about sugar and Type II Diabetes (though you would have thought from the pictures that only obese people got that). There's now also information showing that sugar increases the amount of aging our body does, especially on the skin, as well as some connections shown between sugar and high cholesterol. Yet, despite all this, it's still there being added to our food. I think the weirdest thing for me is the way it's still in all the diet food. It's all 'fat free' this and 'fat free' that and yet they replace the fat with high amounts of sugar and as far as I'm aware there's no real difference between the fat you consume and the fat your body converts the sugar you consume into. For some reason fat has been placed as the baddy to be removed at all costs, while sugar is the naughty product that isn't that bad really and definitely the better of two evils. If only it was that simple. The one thing I found when doing my research into healthy eating for my PCOS was that there are actually a number of fats that are not only good for you but also really important for your health. Sugar isn't entirely bad either as your body does need it in moderation, but needs to be eaten in small amounts in a more natural way (and by natural I mean like in your fruit and vegetables which are mostly whole). Sweetener is not really any better. It still gives your body the sugar kick that is so addictive and, as your body doesn't know the difference, it still releases the insulin into your bloodstream with possible connections to insulin resistance in the long run. There's also some evidence that people who use sweetener also eat more afterwards, possibly because their body is geared up to get sugar that never turns up. For me, the big health issue in connection to my PCOS is that my insulin baseline is higher naturally than most people's. This means that the Sugar that goes into my body is much more likely to be converted into body fat (with all the health issues there) and the fat in my body is less likely to be converted into fuel, I'm also more likely to get Type II Diabetes. It's much more important for me that I eat healthily and exercise regularly, not only to reduce my body fat but to reduce my insulin levels as well. Sugar is definitely an 'only in moderation' product for me and I really want that moderation to be in the form of the fruit and veg by body evolved to understand. It also fits, as I'm trying to live more sustainably, that the by eating healthier, less processed food it'll actually be easier for me to make more sustainable choices in the food I eat. I'll be able to decide where all the products come from. So how am I going to break this little addition this time. Well, thankfully I'm stubborn so the fact that I failed the last few times is not going to stop me giving this another go (it does have it's uses). Also, my new job means I'm going to be stuck up a hill with no access to a shop selling pure sugar in a fizzy disguise, and my trip back and forth to work doesn't pass any of those either. I'm not going to buy anything in my weekly shopping that has the substance in (I do have some very expensive maple syrup to get through right now though) and that way I'll have no choice but to not have it. I will need to increase my calories for this job, but the plan is to do it through the healthy options, such as fruit, seeds and nuts instead of chocolate and biscuits. I'll just have to ignore the little sugar demons in my head. Afterall, I won't have a choice.
About a year ago I went through my wardrobe and got rid of a number of things that I just didn't wear anymore or that didn't fit at all. I've never really had a particularly large wardrobe, but I still felt that there were a number of things that were taking up useful space that I easily get rid of. Since then I have been getting rid of things here and there which were worn out and couldn't be fixed. I had thought that there wouldn't be anything else that would go and I started packing up my items ready for my move to my new job, but as I was doing this I realised I have a number of items of clothing that are specifically for the administration in an office job I'd been doing for the last few years and not the outdoor getting wet and muddy job I was going to. While I knew that I would want to keep a few pieces that I loved (and it's good to have a couple of nice clothes), I also knew there there were a number of items that I had just because they were office appropriate.
So I sat down and went through them, getting rid of a pair of black trousers (which didn't really fit properly anyway), a couple of tops that I would only ever wear in an office and which either didn't really sit on me properly or were too short for me know, a couple of cardigans, and a cami which I wore under tops but which has such skinny straps that my bra would show through. I also decided to get rid of a long sleeve top I had brought as a layering piece but which was so thin it didn't do anything, a woolie hat that was so tight it gave me a headache every time I wore it, and a scarf I just didn't love anymore. I'm not really into wearing high heels anymore either so I got rid of my last pair of really high ones and a pair of ankle boots which only really work with my work stuff. There other items are just ones I realised I had duplicates of and didn't actually use. There are also a couple of items (not shown here) which are vintage and so I'm going to try selling them. This definitely isn't the largest decluttering of clothing ever (I know that other people have multiple bin bags full usually), but it was a good reminder to me that I could still be holding onto unnecessary stuff because I'm not really thinking about how much I use them. Clothes are pretty easy items for me to get rid off as they don't tend to have any sentimental feelings attached to them, but there are other items which I tend to me much more attached to (predominantly jewellery) even though there may be absolutely no reason for it and I think the reason I've been letting myself hold onto them is because I haven't had to move in a while. There's been no need or incentive to keep the items of products I have to a minimum. A number of my products will need to start going into storage soon and that isn't exactly a cheap process, so storing items that I don't use or which don't hold any special meaning really does seem like a waste. As I'm only going to be able to do this over the weekends it'll have to be a little bit done here and there, but I'll keep myself accountable by posting the decluttered items on Instagram. It's time for me to start being just a little bit more brutal about what I've been holding onto.
I brought this film a few years ago as it was about the intensive farming techniques in America, similar to that expected in Lincolnshire in the form of a pig farm. Directed by Robert Kenner it's split into three sections: first looking meat production, then at grain and vegetable production, and lastly at the economic and legal side of food production. I thought it would be a difficult watch, especially when it came to the animal welfare side of things, and it was when they were showing how the pigs were slaughtered. But, for the most part it was quite a good look at the way the food industry works in America. Obviously there are always two sides to every story, but this documentary takes a look at how the industry is run when money is the main priority over welfare (both of livestock and workers) and the environment, designed to produce large quantities of food for cheap. It also highlighted how much of a monopoly a small number of large food companies have over the whole industry, affecting and controlling how individual farmers can grow the food on their land. While the actual livestock farming may not be similar in Britain, the relationship between large food companies and individuals farmers in the US is similar to the situation faced by British farmers when dealing with our supermarkets. What was particularly interesting is how the companies have been promoting an unhealthy food habitat which support this type of farming. This documentary definitely highlights what happens when the food becomes nothing more than a money earner. As something that sustains us and has such a large impact on our environment it really deserves more importance than that. It didn't really highlight anything to me I hadn't already found at about when I was doing research before becoming a vegetarian, but it was a good way of reminding myself why I've made the decisions I have. If you're just starting out on finding out about the food industry this is definitely a good place to start and then take your research further. I am glad that our industry isn't quite as intense as that in America, but it still could be improved to make it more sustainable and ethical.
This month has been a little more successful than I thought it was going to be.
Let's start with the product I'm most happy about finally finishing and that's the Wella System Professional Polish Cream. This product does help a bit with frizziness and smells nice, but it isn't as good as the oils I usually use and is not cruelty free so I won't be getting it again. I am happy that this has finally gone, but it is a reminder to not buy something, just because.
I've also used up the NYX Butter Gloss in Creme Brulee. I didn't manage to get absolutely all the product out of the container, but I did take out the stopper so that I could get as much as possible. It's not really my colour (I seem to have been going through a pink phase for some reason), but the texture and smell were nice. It is a good product, but I won't buy it again as I'm not a lip gloss type of girl. There is also the whole are they, aren't they when it comes to cruelty free. I've moved on to some of the other lipsticks that I have and am hoping to use another two products by the end of the year, which should take the number down to 4.
The eyeshadows are doing well. Now that I'm doing a type of brown, smokey eye The Body Shop eyeshadow in Coconut About Me is moving along a lot quicker. I've also been using Sea Shell on my eye as well as a highlighter and this has helped move it along, but obviously hasn't helped with two purple eyeshadows which have been put on the back burner for this month. I had watched a YouTube channel by MakeUp Geek about covering up undereye circles which recommends using an eyeshadow as the powder rather than your usual face powder. So I've been using the Natural Collection eyeshadow in Sable for this and have now managed to hit pan. The rest have remained the same.
The smokey eye look has also helped me work through Soap and Glory Smoulder Kohl Waterproof Eyeliner in Superblack. I am much more hopeful that this will be finished by the end of the year, but, as I won't be wearing as much makeup come the end of May, things will slow down on that front quite a lot. However, good progress with this one so I'm happy.
I'm now using the Barry M nail varnish in Cyan as my main nail varnish. All the Barry M varnishes I've had have always been liquidy but very pigmented, which means you don't need a lot to get the colour. This, of course, means there's not as much progress as I would hope, but I still managed to get through a fair amount this month. Even though I won't be wearing face makeup on a day to day basis I will still be wearing nail varnish, so I'm hopeful that I will still be able to get through them all this year. I wasn't sure about this colour, if I'm honest, but since I've been wearing it on a daily basis I have to admit I actually really like it and it does go well with my skin tone.
I'm finally seeing some progress in the Barbara Day eye primer (just at the top). I think this one is going to take a very long time to use up and I'm definitely not going to get it finished by the end of the year. However, I'm not actually that bothered about that. It's quite a good eye primer, especially for my oily eyes, and is the last one I have so if it takes a couple of years that's fine.
As before the MUA powder foundation in Shade 4 and the Bourjois blush in Ceidre 48 are showing no real change. Slow and steady with these.
As for the Jean Paul Gaultier Eau De Parfum I am getting through it and might actually have it finished by the time I start my new job. I will keep using it at my new job (if it's not finished), but not to the extent. It will definitely be finished by the end of the year.
As for other product, I've been testing the Neal's Yard Wild Rose Moisturising SPF30. It smells really nice and I was able to put it all over my face, including over my eyelids, without having any reaction to it. However, I found it a bit too thick to use. Even with warming it up in my hands first I still felt like it was pulling on my face. It also didn't feel like it was very moisturising and, in fact, my skin seemed to get drier quicker when I was using this. The outer packaging doesn't really hold up to constant use either, but the things that means the most to me is what's inside and I don't think I'll get this one again. To see my previous posts on my 2017 Project Pan:
