Having Dyslexia - and why it's helped you learn to just give things a go.

This probably isn't really a subject that fits with anything else I've written about in this blog, especially not in the last few months, but I have a feeling that it's probably pretty obvious that I have this based on how I write, or miss-write, my posts.  It's also popped into my mind more recently as I've had yet someone else who has been surprised to find out that I am actually dyslexic.  So I decided to write about it.

Obviously, I'm used to having dyslexia and the wonderful and usually comical way in which it affects my life.  However, non-dyslexic people's reaction to finding out I have it is always a little bit odd to me, especially the reasons behind why they are surprised.  Sometimes it's because they feel I shouldn't be able to string a coherent sentence together about any mildly complex subject, sometimes it's because of the way I use words to describe things, sometimes they feel I shouldn't have been able to get a Degree let alone a Masters, and sometimes it's because they're just surprised that I'm not.... well, to be blunt, stupid.  And it does make me wonder if I had followed the ridiculous stereotype that people try to fit you into how things would have been for me.

I could write a post about all the ways my form of dyslexia affects my life, like the fact I can't actually hear the different sounds that make up a word which makes spelling an interesting affair.  However, I don't see dyslexia as a disadvantage.  In fact, it has allowed me to understand mechanics and concepts that are apparently complicated and allowed cram all sorts of information into my brain, and I see that as an advantage.  So instead, I thought I'd write about how I've learnt to deal with my dyslexia and how that has had an effect on other areas in my life as well.

1) Dyslexia does not mean stupid.

This is the most important and I'm not sure you can ever say it enough - because you're dyslexic does not mean you're stupid.  No matter what anyone says, and believe me, I've heard it a lot, it's just not true.  It just means that you're not good at words or numbers or both, but that doesn't mean you're stupid.  Your intelligence will be in something else, like understanding concepts in physics that other people just don't get, and you just need to find out what it is.  So try out lots of different things, even in the academic fields that people tell you you won't be very good at, to see what it is you excel in.  It could be a very pleasant surprise and just because an archaic idea is attached to something doesn't mean it's actually true.  

2) How can someone else know what you're capable of when, most of the time, you won't even know yourself.

I'm very used as someone with dyslexia, and as a woman, to people deciding that they know what I will actually be capable of, giving me their opinion, and then expecting me to follow it.  However, the truth is that you'll never actually know what you can do until you give it a go, at least a couple of times, and if you don't know how on earth are they going to.  It's also true that they are rarely giving you their opinion for your own good but rather to box you into a behaviour that will make them feel better, and this makes it 'advise' to definitely ignore.  So don't listen to other people's opinion of your capability and find out for yourself.  Then you might find out that you can get a Masters whilst having word-dyslexia (why did they make that word so difficult to spell?) or have a job moving heavy objects as a woman.

3) It's very unlikely that you'll be able to do something, and definitely not be good at it, on the first go.

Most things that you give a go at will take time to be good at or even just competent at, so there's no point in being disheartened just because you can't do it straight away.  I understand it's disappointing, but you can use that feeling to decide if it's really something you want to be able to do or achieve and if it is then just keep going.  Almost no one is able to do something the first time, and just because you can't doesn't mean you are able to do it at all.

4) You need to find your own type of translation and accept the pitfalls.

And by that I mean you need to work out how your own squidgy brain works and then translate everything to fit that.  For me, my brain works in pictures and not in words, so everything I do and learn I translate into pictures so that I can remember and understand them.  Unfortunately, there are some things I just can't do that with, like names.  I'm terrible at names, but I just accept that there's nothing I can do about that and for everything else, it actually works just fine and allows me to fit a lot of information into a very small headspace.  My favourite thing about my form of learning is the way I can then move the picture around in my head and use it to look at something from a different angle.  Something I wouldn't be able to do if I tried to force myself to think in words.

5) Sometimes (or most times) you just have to work really hard.

This definitely isn't just for people who are dyslexic, but there are a number of times that you can actually do something if you're prepared to really put the graft it.  You might not be a genius at it, but you're not going to really know if you can do it without really giving it a proper go.  I had to work really hard to get the grades I did, but I accepted that that was just going to be the case and now I'm very proud of what I managed to achieve.  I also now know what I'm capable of, and that it s very useful piece of information.

6) It's absolutely fine if it turns out you really can't do it.

If after all that grafting you still aren't able to do that thing you had hoped to be able to do then it's time to step away and accept that that just isn't going to be a skill for you.  And you know what, that's absolutely fine! You can't be good at everything, because no one can be.  It also doesn't mean that that person who told you you won't be able to do it is right either as they didn't know you were capable of going as far as you did.  Now you need to take all the lessons you learnt from this effort, which is why failing at something is nothing but a learning opportunity, and go and find something that is the right fit for you. 

All of those are reasons why I tend to ignore it when people tell me that I can't do something and even why I ignore my initial reaction of "I won't be able to do this" as no one will actually know until you give it a go.  And it was having dyslexia and learning to work around it that taught me that.  My strengths might not be 'normal' strengths but they are still strengths and useful ones at that.  It would also be true to say that I was also very lucky when it came to academics in that I love learning new things, and there wasn't anything anyone could say that was going to put me off pursuing that.  No matter how difficult it was going to get.

So I hope that, in some small way, this might help someone who's having to deal with those people behaving as if you can't do something because of your dyslexia (or for any other reason) before you've had a chance to try.  It might be that you can't, but without giving it a go you're never going to know.  Now have a look at a very cute, sleeping kitty.