Sustainable Diet

To cut right to the chase, I've put on weight.  Quite a bit of weight in fact, over the last two months.  It's not really much of a surprise to me as I have been unemployed for the last couple of months which means I haven't been doing the hard physical work I have to do on a daily basis to keep the fat off and I've been eating crap.  My diet hasn't been terrible, it's still mostly healthy, but I have been eating more processed food and sugar then I normally do and really I should have known better.  I have PCOS after all and I know how quickly I can pile on the pounds compared to a 'normal' person.

However, when I was thinking about my unhealthy food habits it occurred to me that it also meant I wasn't exactly doing my part for the environment either.  Now there is a bit of a debate about whether highly processed food is actually good or bad for the environment and I can understand the arguments for the good (seen as a way to reduce food waste, less energy used as the food is cooked together in a massive vate instead of separately by each person), but there are a few things that I find difficult to be okay with.  The first is the amount of packaging that comes with processed food a large proportion of which we can't reuse in any way, the use of palm oil in so many of the products most of which isn't taken from a sustainable source (it wouldn't be possible to supply for the demand that way anyway), and the fact that many of the companies just want very specific ingredients which means that farmers are forced to move away from crops that are more suited to their local area to grow other crops that usually need a lot of work and support (usually in the form of chemicals) to grow.  So basically my diet is not very good for me and not particularly great for the environment.

Back to my old PCOS diet it is then.  I'm still doing a big part of it, such as eating lots of vegetables, having only lean proteins (basically all vegetarian and vegan proteins are classed as lean), eating healthy fats, and having Omega 3 in my diet (plant based).  However, where I've slipped is eating a fair bit of processed sugar in the form of chocolates and cakes even if it's not daily, having fizzy juice (I might as well just have been eating a sugar cube), and having processed food with all that sugar, salt, and bad fats.  Some products that I've had that are processed can be perfectly healthy for most people, like bread, but unfortunately that's not the case when you have PCOS.

That means I need to either completely remove or greatly reduce a number of these not great food items from my day to day diet and keep them as just a treat now and then (at most once a week).  I also need to go back to replacing a number of my carbohydrates with low GI forms, like oats and quinoa.   I do feel like I need to do some in depth research into diet and PCOS again though as I've noticed that some of the information seems to have changed a little or is still being debated, like should you have carbohydrates at all and should you be able to eat things like tofu.

And that's it.  It should be a little easier once I start working again as I'll be back to doing all day physical exercise (I might also add some more exercise to do when I get home if I feel like I haven't done enough during the day) and I'll only be able to eat what I bring with me.  Hopefully it won't take me ten years to loss this again now that I have a much better idea as to what I actually need to do.  It'll also be interesting to see if being in my 40s has any affect on this as hormones don't normally follow the usual route when you have PCOS.  Regardless, for myself and a little bit for the environment it's time for me to eat more healthily.

Cleaning Up My Diet.....again :)

 

I made the decision to 'go healthy' again after lock-down a little while ago.  In fact, I wrote about it on this blog last month, but, as usual, I dragged my feet because........well why won't you when you have this excuse for eating badly.  This will be a pretty quick blog as I don't want to be repeating what I've already written about here many times before, but trying to eat healthily is a constant effort for me (especially as I have to be so much more strict due to the PCOS) and I don't think it'll ever become just a habit.

I should probably start by saying that, at a general look, my diet looks pretty healthy with lots of vegetables.  It's just that the portions are definitely too big for my size and the additional food, normally known as snacks, are probably more of the problem.

Starting with the easiest bit, I need to reduce my portion sizes to the amount I should actually be eating for my size, and probably ignore the little bit of hunger I will be feeling at the beginning.  I now have more control over the food being made at the moment, so I also want to make fresher meals with one being a large mixed salad and the other full of fresh vegetables.  I'm also having gluten-free toast for my breakfast, but I'm finding I'm getting hungry pretty quickly in the mornings now so it would probably be a good idea to go back to overnight oats or porridge.

Now for the more difficult bit, snacking.  Like pretty much everyone else, I tend to snack on things I really shouldn't, like biscuits, crisps, chocolate, sugar, sugar, sugar.  It probably doesn't help that I used to get allergic reactions to pretty much every fruit out there, bar the fiddly oranges, making it difficult to choose that option.  However, that does seem to be reducing at the moment so maybe I should probably give them all another try.  Having to walk to the shops to get unhealthy food doesn't seem to be much of a hindrance to me either, so what I really need to do is make the healthy snacks much more accessible and easy.  The fruit should cover the sugar cravings and the nuts should add the crunch I like to have.  I'm still going to let myself have 'unhealthy' snacks now and then, probably once or twice a week, as going too extreme tends to lead to people falling off the bandwagon in a strong way.

Hopefully, if I can make these changes over the next few weeks my health should improve considerably, including the reduction in my allergies which usually gets worse when I have too much-processed sugar.  Which should then be enough of an incentive to keep going.  My arse might also stop expanding in the way it's doing right now as well. 😂

My Female Health

If the current pandemic has taught us anything, it's just how important our health is.  And if research into my the health of my own body has taught me anything, it's the surprising difference hormones have on the health of men and women.  The way to stay healthy may be pretty similar for both sexes (eat healthily, exercise regularly, don't drink excessively, and don't smoke), but there's no getting around the fact that the hormones we produce do have an impact and these differ for men and women.

Probably why this fact is so important to me is that I have PCOS and the effect this hormonal imbalance has had on my body has made itself pretty obviously, including being overweight on a healthy diet and hairy enough to probably be able to get an extras part as a werewolf.  I've already written a few posts on having PCOS so I won't go into too much detail here, but if you want to read more the posts are Beating PCOS: the start of my journey, initial treatment, diet, and still living with PCOS.  However, the changes I had made, and been quite good at keeping, have slid just a little bit during the lockdown and I have definitely noticed the difference in the layer of winter blubber I've been forming, the extra dryness in my skin, the quality of my periods (which amazingly I'm still having despite now being off hormonal contraception for a couple of months now), and energy level.  My moods have also been affected and, as someone with depression, it's especially important that I take care of my mental health.  The food might have been nice, but it's now playing with my overall health and well being.

Now, I haven't gone completely back to before 'Beating PCOS', as the regular periods and keeping within my BMI have shown, but if I carry on as I have been it will definitely become a problem again.  There's also the added fact that most of the food that tastes so good and is so tempting is also the food covered in packaging and produced in an environmentally unsustainable way, and that most of the activities I am now doing involve being stuck indoors watching screens and wasting more energy then I should be, which is not the route I want to be going down at all.  All in all, it seems a good idea all round to be getting back to my old ways.

So, the plan moving forward is:

- Finish reading Woman Code by Alisa Vitti.  A slightly strange one I know, but this book has come recommended by a number of women and I first heard about it from Victoria at Femme Head.  I started reading it before the pandemic but, for some reason, haven't gotten round to finishing it.  It has a lot of information in it, not only about understanding the signs your body is giving you and how each stage of your menstrual cycle has an effect on you, but also how you can change your diet to help with the hormonal imbalance you may be experiencing.  I have already done quite a bit of research on this, but I don't think I've come across something as in-depth as this book and so it would be good to start using the information it provides.

- Properly start tracking my cycle and using FAM.  This isn't just something I want to really learn how to do as an alternative to hormonal contraception, but I also want to use it as an indicator of how my overall health is doing.  If I am able to keep up regular, healthy periods and a 'normal' cycle then this will show me that I have been able to keep my hormones where they are meant to be for good overall body health.  Right now I'm using the free version of the Kindara app as it's much more convenient than paper tracking version, especially first thing in the morning.  Yet, despite this, I'm only really managing to get my temperature first thing in the morning (just), but I keep forgetting to measure the other two indicators, which are cervical fluid and cervical position.  Setting alarms don't seem to be working, so maybe I'll just have to write a note on my leg instead.

- Getting back to healthy eating.  This is actually a big one as it's so important on so many levels, but it's also actually quite hard to do as yummy, bad for you food also tends to be very addictive food.  I'm already pretty certain of what I should really be eating, and I will incorporate what I learn from Woman Code into that, but the main thing is just actually starting and saying no to all those tempting treats that float pass you on a daily basis.  The artificial sugar plays particular havoc with my already hormonally imbalanced body, and so that definitely needs to go.  I'll probably write more about this on a future post, but for now, I need to reduce my dairy (I've been good and have kept to not really having milk and cream, but I can't say the same for cheese) and gluten, which also worsens my allergies, and replace chocolate and unhealthy snacks for fruits and vegetables.  Oh, and this also includes drinking a good amount of water as well.

- Lastly, exercise, exercise, exercise.  To give myself credit, I have been doing some exercise it just hasn't been doing it to the same intensity as when I was working and this can be pretty difficult to replicate, but it's this intensity that really seems to work well with my body helping it thrive.  I hate to think about how my stamina and overall strength has declined since lockdown.  Whilst I do like to run on a relatively regular basis, a large amount will be yoga and mat work so I'm not too worried about things like damaging my joints.  However, I do want to add some extra strengthing training in as well and am looking at some callisthenics at the moment.  We'll see if that suits.

So, that is how I am planning on improving my health based on my specific hormone requirements.  I could have really gotten into this during the lockdown, but I have to admit that I enjoyed the excuse of letting these things slide and now I'm paying the price for it.  I could keep pretending that my levels of exercise and unhealthy diet are having no effect on my energy levels, fat gain, muscle loss, and mental health, but we all know that that's a big lie and I should just stop being a child about it.  What's that really annoying saying 'short term pain for long term gain'.  I guess I'm just going to have to get on with it. 😂

Beating PCOS: still living with PCOS

Unfortunately PCOS is something that you can cure or get rid off.  It's something that remains with you your whole life, though symptoms do sometimes change with menopause.  However, there are changes that can be made to your lifestyle (some I have already spoken about in my previous blog) which help combat some of the effects of PCOS and help you feel better in the long run.  The good news about these changes is that they really are things everyone should be doing, we just have to be a little stricter about them.  

So these are the habitats I do on a regular basis.

Diet
These is one of the key areas to help with the effects of PCOS and I have already written a blog post on what diet has been recommended.  Now don't get me wrong, I do have a treat now and then and I have fallen off the bandwagon a few times, but for the most part I have a pretty healthy diet with almost no dairy.  The plus is that I've been following it for so long now it feels pretty normal and I actually quite like it.  I am a fan of vegetables so that always helps and I haven't missed taking out dairy as much as I thought. It probably helps that reducing dairy has greatly reduced the number of colds I've had.

Exercise
I'm lucky in this department because the work I do means I'm pretty much exercising all day long, and quite intensively.  Along with the commute I do on my bike I am basically on my feet and moving from 7.30am until 6.30pm.  I have increased my diet to fit the additional work, but I haven't needed tondo so by much.  When I'm not at work it's important to keep the exercise level up and if I'm having a few days off in. Row then I tend to run quite regularly.  It's not at the same intensity but it's something that has definitely helped in the past and something that seems to work well with my body.  It's important to find a type of exercise that suits you and your body, and that you enjoy.  But it can't be too easy otherwise it won't have the desired affect.

Both of these have helped me with weight loss (and hopefully helped reduce the chance of me getting Type II diabetes) and I am now around 9 stone 7.  This is a big difference to the 13 stone 5 I was at my heaviest.  It also seems to have helped reduce the amount of hair that has been growing back after removal and helped level about my period, making it much more consistent.

Hair removal
Whilst it may not be as bad as it used to be (I could have literally placed a werewolf and not needed any cosmetics or fancy dress), it is still and issue I need to deal with regularly.  Waxing is still my main point of call and ideally I would get it done at a beauticians, but as I would need to go on a monthly basis the expense means that I usually choose to make this an at home affair.  Definitely worth learning how to do that.

Depression
I would say that this is the most unpleasant part of having PCOS.  The little hand in the dark pulling you under and making everything awful.  There will be times when things are fine and great, but there will be many times when fighting it becomes a daily chores.  I try not to take medication unless I really have to, but the one thing that I have found has really helped is cognitive behavioural therapy.  It feels a bit weird doing it at first, almost like you don't deserve it, but I have seen improvements in my feelings and I'm hoping it will just keep getting better.  Definitely worth a shot of your suffering from the same.

Don't get me wrong, having PCOS makes you feel like you've been handed a bag of crap you didn't ask for and it can make things really unbearable sometimes.  But there are things that can be done to help deal with the effects it has.  In an ideal world you wouldn't have to deal with this, but on the plus once you've learnt how to be healthy and fit this will remain with you for the rest of your life.  Then you can just watch those people who have never had to deal with get fat as they get older.

Beating PCOS: diet

Diet isn't particularly a good word anymore. It conjures up ideas of watercress soup, feeling hungry practically all the time, and then putting back in all the weight you lost and then some.

Before I discovered I had PCOS I had tried to have a healthy diet and to exercise regularly.  For anyone else it would have meant being slim and healthy, but for me it meant remaining plum and feeling disheartened that work I was doing was having no effect on my body.  For me it was, and still is, important to be healthy and I knew that the size I was meant a higher chance of getting Type II diabetes and having high cholesterol (obviously having PCOS increased this even further).  After I found out that I had PCOS I decided to research into what I could do to help deal and, in particular, if there were any changes I could make to my diet that would have a positive effect.  This is what I found out and what changes I made.

Firstly, as is the case with basically everyone, avoiding refined carbohydrates like white bread and cakes is hugely important.  These types of foods give you sugar highs, followed by sugar crashes making you want more.  This has leads to problems with your insulin level and weight, and is particularly bad for those of us which already have raised insulin levels.

Secondly, you want to combine complex unrefined carbohydrates (think vegetables, fruits, wholemeal bread, and oats) with proteins (like nuts, seeds, fish, lean meats, and eggs).  This will help regulate your blood sugar levels and prevents you from getting the insulin spikes that can be a problem.  If you can, eat little and often as this also helps keep your blood sugar level consistent.

The next piece of advise might seem a little odd, but it's the one that has had the most impact for me, and that is to avoid dairy.  The reason behind this is that milk contains an insulin-like growth factor (not surprisingly) which can interfere with the hormone balance.  These are easy enough to replace with plant based milks, but be sure to look for those which are fortified with calcium.

The last thing usually recommended for those suffering from PCOS are supplements.  These include chromium and B vitamins to help stabilise blood sugar levels and makes insulin more effective, zinc for reproductive hormones, magnesium the lack of which is linked to PCOS, as well the amino acids N-acetyl cysteine and L-arginine to help with insulin sensitivity.  I don't actually take any supplements as I am trying to get everything I need from my diet, but this may change in the future.

So, what does a day of food look like for me.  Breakfast is usually porridge with cinnamon, chai seeds, and some fruit (usually peach slices).  Morning break is a fruit of some form and a handful of mixed nuts.  Lunch used to contain quinoa as this is shown to be one of the healthiest options, but is now two wholemeal rolls (for ease) with spinach, peppers, and some type of vegan Quorn.  We don't normally get an afternoon snacks, but when I get home I try to have something healthy like half an avocado.  Dinner is a little more tricky as I don't have the cooking facilities I would like to be able to cook all the things I would like so it normally consists of a couple of different types of veggie burgers (not ideal) and then a whole load of steamed vegetables.  I try and change the vegetables I eat on a daily basis to help ensure I get all the nutrients I need.  It actually seems quite a lot when I make it, but as my job is quite active at the moment I need to make sure I eat enough for that without spiking my insulin levels.

Of course, it goes without saying that exercise is also hugely important for helping to keep you healthy and to help you loss and keep off the weight you will have had.  Now I do most of my exercising during work, but before I made sure I ran three times a week and walked practically everywhere.  It's worth pointing out that women with PCOS usually gain weight for metabolic reasons rather than the amount that they eat and that it can be harder to lose weight once you've gained it.  However, it is possible to do if you work on what you eat and on getting enough exercise.  I haven't managed to make my diet perfect and I do slip up regularly (in fact I'm drinking fizzy water at the moment as I try and get myself of fizzy sodas), but I have still managed to lose weight.  Four stone in total.  And it's all thanks to the changes I have managed to make to my diet.

Beating PCOS: initial treatment

This is the second blog in my series on having PCOS.  In my first blog I wrote about what PCOS actually is and how I was diagnosed with it. In this blog I want to go through some of the treatments I've had to deal with the effects of having it.

As I said in my first blog, the doctor who adviced me that I actually had PCOS was not helpful at all and only told me to come back once I wanted to have children.  However, once I went back to my actual doctor we discussed it a little further, looking at the effect it was having on my menstrual cycle.  Whilst the idea of never having a period is a great one it, unfortunately, it is not particularly good for you if it doesn't occur naturally and increases the chance of you getting endometrial cancer (also called womb or uterus cancer).  The endometrium is the lining of the uterus and, during a normal menstual cycle, it is exposed to hormones like oestrogen causing it to thicken.  If pregnancy doesn't occur the endometrium sheds itself causing us to menstruate.  However, when ovulation doesn't occur, as in PCOS, the lining doesn't shed but is instead exposed to higher levels of oestrogen, causing the endometrium to grow much thicker than normal.  This increases the chance of cancer cells beginning to grow.  As products like the pill keeps your hormone levels low, the endometrial lining remains thin and there is a dramatic reduction in the risk of getting endometrial cancer.  

I had already been on the pill for many years and so had already been receiving the benefit from this, but I wanted to move onto another form of contraception as I didn't like taking the pill on a daily basis and had found in my research that taking the pill may increase insulin resistance (something you don't need help with when you have PCOS), the risk of having a heart attack or a stroke, and lowers the levels of some nutrients we need such as B-vitamins and vitamin C and E.  To start with I went back on the contraception injections, but that just turned me into a complete psycho with no control over my emotions, and then the coil, but that didn't suit me at all and just caused me to bleed constantly.  Now I'm on the NuvaRing which is working out really well (maybe I'll do a blog on my contraception journey).  It regulates my periods, but as the hormones are localised it doesn't seem to have any effect on my moods and is very easy to use.  So that's the endometrial cancer dealt with - hopefully.

Unfortunately taking the pill (and then the later forms of contraception) didn't have any positive effect on my weight.  In fact, it might have actually made me put on weight.  For that I've worked on my diet, which I'll go into on another blog, and that has made a massive difference not only to my size but my general well-being and other factors in connection to PCOS.  The pill also didn't have any positive impact on my hairiness either, for that I had to go down a slightly more painful route.

PCOS for me started when puberty did and by 15 I had a very curvy body I didn't know what to do with and I had begun to be very hairy.  Most of the areas I could deal with in the normal manner and wasn't too bothered about (apart from the hairy, hobbit's feet), but I was very conscious of the hair I had on my face as it was obvious to everyone on  daily basis.  To begin with I tried bleaching the hair, but as I have olive skin the blonde hair was just as obvious as the dark, so I moved to waxing.  This was very painful and, though it was pretty effective, difficult to do without other people seeing you do it (I was in boarding school) and the permanent effect would take a while to take hold.  Thankfully I was lucky enough to have parents who arranged for me to have laser treatment on my face.  This was also quite painful and made my face just as red as the waxing, but it wasn't as painful as the waxing and had much more lasting effects at a quicker rate.  Unfortunately laser treatment is only really effective if you have dark hair and pale skin, so !at not be suitable for everyone having the same issues.

The laser did a good job at helping to reduce the hair, but it was still obvious a lot of the time and after a while I returned to waxing during most of my 20s as it was cheaper and easier to find locations where this was available.  Then in my late 20s the beautician who carried out my waxing told me she had been training in electrolysis.  So I did some research on this and, as I trust my beautician completely, decided to give it a go.  Electrolysis is where a tiny needle like rod is inserted down the hair follicle to the root and a small charge is passed through it.  This damages the root either by heat or a chemical reaction or both.  It is most effective when they are able to catch the hair whilst it is still growing, but unfortunately it's not as effective if the hair has stopped growing and the root is resting.  This is not the cheapest treatment (it's also not ridiculously expensive either) and I found it pretty painful.  Definitely the most painful of my hair removal treatments.  However, it is definitely the most effective in permanently removing the hair and, while I do have some hair still here and there around my face, I don't feel like I have the full on moustache and beard I used to have.  There are still some hairs, but right now I'm happy to just treat them on my own for now.  It is meant to be for all hair and skin types (unlike laser treatment), however, the pain level does seem to depend on your hair colour.  I would recommend looking at it is you're interested in permanently removing hair and I am thinking of going back to carry on treating my upper lip area.

So that is what I did initially to deal with the effects of PCOS, but once the diagnosis was confirmed I started doing more research into it.  I'm not someone who likes to use medicine all the time to fix a problem and wanted to find a more natural solution to this illness.  That is when I started looking at ways in which my diet could actually work against PCOS and help me with my hair, weight, and periods.  And that will be in my next blog.

If you would like to read my first blog you can find it here.

Beating PCOS: the start of my journey

Eight years ago I found out that I have PCOS.  I had thought that it might be something that I had as I did have a number of the symptoms and I finally found a doctor who was happy to send me to get tested (the other doctors just thought that it was unnecessary until I wanted to get pregnant).  Unfortunately that doctor has now left my surgery, which I'm upset about as she was a great doctor to have, but I am grateful that she thought it was something worth looking at.  I thought I would write a little series on PCOS, what it's like having it, and what I've done to help alleviate the symptoms naturally at home.

So, what is PCOS?  PCOS stands for Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome and polycystic ovaries contain a number of follicles which are under-developed sacs in which eggs usually develop.  In those with PCOS these sacs are unable to release an egg preventing ovulation from happening.  The actual cause of PCOS is unknown but it is connected to abnormal hormone levels in the body.  One of these is insulin, a hormone which controls the sugar levels in the body, with many women with PCOS being resistant to the action of insulin in their body causing it to produce higher levels to overcome this.  High levels of insulin can cause the ovaries to produce higher levels of testosterone, which interferes with the development of the follicles and normal ovulation.

Other hormones have are effected by this syndrome are a rise in luteinising hormone which usually stimulates ovulation but can have an abnormal effect if levels are too high, the lowering of sex hormone-binding globulin (SHBG) which binds to testosterone in the blood reducing it's effects, and a rise in prolactin (in some women) which stimulates the breast glands to produce milk.  Why these hormones change is not known and there have been many suggestions as to what the causes are.  These include starting in the ovaries themselves, in the glands that produce the hormones themselves,in  the part of the brain that controls the production of the hormones or by the insulin resistance itself.

The reason I wanted to get tested is that I displayed a number of the symptoms, which for me were irregular periods, excessive hair growth (most obviously on my face), and a rapid  weight gain all starting when I reached puberty (my teenage years were so much fun).  The tests my doctor sent me for were a blood test and a pelvic ultrasound.  The results of these combined with my other symptoms showed that I did have PCOS.  I wasn't overly impressed with the doctor that gave me the results (not my actual doctor) as he didn't give me any advice about the syndrome or information on where I could receive help, but instead just told me to come back when I wanted to get pregnant.  Obviously getting pregnant is the only important thing to a woman?!

The most common symptoms for those suffering from PCOS are:

• Irregular periods, with most women missing periods or having fewer periods and some women having no periods at all.
•  Excessive hair (otherwise known as hirsutism), usually on the face, chest, back and other areas where men usually have hair.
• Acne on the face, chest and back .
• Hair thinning or hair loss similar to male balding.
• Weight gain and / or difficulty losing weight.
• Darkening of the skin, particularly along the neck, under the breasts and in the groin.
• And finally skin tags in the neck and armpit area.

Unfortunately, despite what the doctor who informed me of my results seemed to think, infertility isn't the only problem which comes with PCOS.  There are a number of other health issues which are associated with this syndrome and is a problem that is more that just whether or not you'll be able to get pregnant.  These are:

• Higher levels of LDL (bad) cholesterol and lower levels of HDL (good) cholesterol, raising the risk of hear disease and stroke.
• Higher blood pressure, a leading cause of heart disease and stroke.
• Diabetes, with more than half the women with PCOS will get diabetes or glucose intolerance before they are 40.
• Sleep apnea, caused by the fact that many of the women with PCOS are overweight or obese.  Sleep apnea also raises the risk of getting heart disease and diabetes.
• Endometrial cancer (cancer of the lining of the uterus) which increased by problems with ovulation, obesity, insulin resistance, and diabetes - all of which are common in PCOS.
• Lastly, depression and anxiety.  It is not known if these are caused by the hormal imbalances produced by PCOS or by the results of PCOS such as being overweight and hairy.

 So that is PCOS in general and how I found out I had it. Over the next few months I will be adding blogs about what it's been like having it and what treatments I've decided to have to help with some of the effects.

My Little Sugar Addiction

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Like most people in the western world I have a little, nasty addiction.  It sits in the back of my head constantly pestering me to have more of it.  There are times when I have been able to resist it, but more often than not I give in and get my fix.  I am, of course, talking about sugar.

Addiction is an odd thing to me.  I don't smoke and have never got into that habit, I don't feel the need to have a drink when things get bad/stressful/celebratory, I don't feel like I can't function in the morning if I haven't managed to have a cup of tea or coffee, and I definitely don't have a drug habitat of any form.  So it didn't occur to me that I might have an addiction to sugar until a few years ago.  Really, if I had been paying attention, I should have guessed that I had, the one chocolate bar not being enough anymore, the wanting a fizzy drink in the morning and afternoon, the constantly wanting pastries with icing and cream in.  It was only when I started eating healthily properly after doing some research on my PCOS that I noticed that little niggling feeling in my brain.  I have tried giving this up before, but I always fall back into consuming sugar in the form of chocolate, biscuits, and fizzy juice.  I suppose I should be too suprised, research on sugar addition and rats have shown that they are more addicted to it then they are to cocaine and sugar is added to products (even 'healthy' products) all the time.

The problem is that sugar, especially in it's process form, is so bad for you.  I remember being warned about it regularly, as I'm sure we all have, by my dentist when it came to the health of my teeth.  Then there was the big health push in my teens about sugar and Type II Diabetes (though you would have thought from the pictures that only obese people got that).  There's now also information showing that sugar increases the amount of aging our body does, especially on the skin, as well as some connections shown between sugar and high cholesterol.  Yet, despite all this, it's still there being added to our food.  I think the weirdest thing for me is the way it's still in all the diet food.  It's all 'fat free' this and 'fat free' that and yet they replace the fat with high amounts of sugar and as far as I'm aware there's no real difference between the fat you consume and the fat your body converts the sugar you consume into.  For some reason fat has been placed as the baddy to be removed at all costs, while sugar is the naughty product that isn't that bad really and definitely the better of two evils.

If only it was that simple.  The one thing I found when doing my research into healthy eating for my PCOS was that there are actually a number of fats that are not only good for you but also really important for your health.  Sugar isn't entirely bad either as your body does need it in moderation, but needs to be eaten in small amounts in a more natural way (and by natural I mean like in your fruit and vegetables which are mostly whole).  Sweetener is not really any better.  It still gives your body the sugar kick that is so addictive and, as your body doesn't know the difference, it still releases the insulin into your bloodstream with possible connections to insulin resistance in the long run.  There's also some evidence that people who use sweetener also eat more afterwards, possibly because their body is geared up to get sugar that never turns up.

For me, the big health issue in connection to my PCOS is that my insulin baseline is higher naturally than most people's.  This means that the Sugar that goes into my body is much more likely to be converted into body fat (with all the health issues there) and the fat in my body is less likely to be converted into fuel, I'm also more likely to get Type II Diabetes.  It's much more important for me that I eat healthily and exercise regularly, not only to reduce my body fat but to reduce my insulin levels as well.  Sugar is definitely an 'only in moderation' product for me and I really want that moderation to be in the form of the fruit and veg by body evolved to understand.  It also fits, as I'm trying to live more sustainably, that the by eating healthier, less processed food it'll actually be easier for me to make more sustainable choices in the food I eat.  I'll be able to decide where all the products come from.

So how am I going to break this little addition this time.  Well, thankfully I'm stubborn so the fact that I failed the last few times is not going to stop me giving this another go (it does have it's uses).  Also, my new job means I'm going to be stuck up a hill with no access to a shop selling pure sugar in a fizzy disguise, and my trip back and forth to work doesn't pass any of those either.  I'm not going to buy anything in my weekly shopping that has the substance in (I do have some very expensive maple syrup to get through right now though) and that way I'll have no choice but to not have it.  I will need to increase my calories for this job, but the plan is to do it through the healthy options, such as fruit, seeds and nuts instead of chocolate and biscuits.  I'll just have to ignore the little sugar demons in my head.  Afterall, I won't have a choice.